Isaiah 61 vs 1-3
The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me, because the Lord has appointed me to preach good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the broken-hearted,
to proclaim freedom for the captives & release from darkness for the prisoners,
to proclaim the year of the Lord's favour
and the day of vengeance for our God,
to comfort all who mourn,
and provide for those who grieve in Zion
to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes,
the oil of gladness instead of mourning,
and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair
They will be called oaks of righteousness,
a planting for the Lord for the display of His splendour
God is okay with our brokenness, we don't have to come before Him all perfect and 'clean'. "For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, will be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord" (Romans 8: 38-39). Life isn't a bunch of roses, I wish it was. I have asked God many times - "Why me?" I look at other couples that appear at least on the surface to be doing just fine - they have their occasional issues, sure, but not the deep underlying ones that I experienced in my own marriage. They trust each other, they feel secure, there is mutual respect. This is what I long for, a man of integrity, strength of heart and of character. A man after God's own heart. But right now, I have to deal with my own heart and mind. I have been wounded, and wounds need time to heal. You need two whole people in a relationship. John Legend has it right in his song 'All of me' when he sings "I give you all of me and you give me all of you." I remember hearing this song at my sister's wedding just before our trial separation and realising that while I was giving my all, because of his anger, and inability to let go of the past, he was only half a person and therefore he couldn't give his all into the relationship.
I have a much greater understanding now that I am on the other side of it, looking back, than when I was in the middle of it. That's why friends and family are so important. Find wise people that you can trust and talk to them about your relationship with your significant other. Often these people outside of the relationship can see things that you cannot - especially when you have your rose-tinted glasses on. Obviously there are some people that are always wanting to dramatise situations and cast a negative sheen on everything. Steer clear of these friends/family members. They will mean well but you need someone objective who will give advice out of reasoned logic rather than out of their own fears. I kept everything bottled up inside because I thought a good wife would not tattle on her husband. This is true for a lot of domestic fights/issues between partners. But when you are talking about violence of any kind and any form of manipulation - emotional or otherwise, you need to seek help. I cannot stress this enough. God does not want his women in abusive relationships - this is what my counsellor said a number of times during our sessions and it has stuck with me ever since. It has held me together when I faced opposition for leaving my husband. God remains the perfect example for us as seen in Joel 2: 12-13
“Yet even now,” declares the LORD,
“Return to Me with all your heart,
And with fasting, weeping and mourning;
And rend your heart and not your garments.”
Now return to the LORD your God,
For He is gracious and compassionate,
Slow to anger, abounding in loving kindness
And relenting of evil.
I will leave you this Scripture to ponder:
Joel 2:23-27
Be glad, people of Zion,
rejoice in the Lord your God,
for he has given you the autumn rains
because he is faithful.
He sends you abundant showers,
both autumn and spring rains, as before.
The threshing floors will be filled with grain;
the vats will overflow with new wine and oil.
“I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten
the great locust and the young locust,
the other locusts and the locust swarm
my great army that I sent among you.
You will have plenty to eat, until you are full,
and you will praise the name of the Lord your God,
who has worked wonders for you;
never again will my people be shamed".
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