Courageous Women #5: You are worthy!

I have struggled to see my own worth. I have struggled with feeling worthy. I remember feeling as a teenager that I was unworthy to even drive a car. I had failed my restricted twice by that point and I decided - I came to the complete and final decision (in my mind) that I was never going to drive. I came in and said to mum that it was fine, I would just find a man who could drive, and then he could transport me everywhere. However, mum did not accept that this latest defeat was the end of my dreams of driving. She made me get back in the car that very afternoon. I will always remember mum saying to me, that there was no reason that I couldn't get my license. She said that I had as good a chance and ability as anyone else applying. Mum did not accept that I was unworthy, she did not accept that I was a lesser person for my failings. Her opinion mirrored God's heart. Later that week, while driving with Mum I felt God say to me "You are Worthy!" I got my license on the third go.

This is an important lesson to learn. God does not shame us or rebuke us for our failings - the areas in our lives where we struggle. The days where we get up, only to fall back down, flat on our faces. Instead, He is our greatest supporter. I believe that He is not waiting for us at the finish line of life. He is present throughout the entire great journey that is life. It is not a race, because it is not about coming first. I do not believe that we are supposed to run and run and run through life. I have done this and achieved nothing. Instead, life is a series of starts and stops. Sometimes God is a coach on the side-line, giving us instructions and life lessons. Other times, He subs us off because there is further physical training to endure - 50 press-ups, learning to jump over hurdles etc. Then there are the moments where He runs with us - this is where we are learning to truly listen to Him and then we feel His wings beneath our feet. But finally, there are the moments where He carries us. This is the low times in life, where we are in dark valleys that appear to have no end. Throughout it all, every season, He is there. He never fails, His mercy knows no bounds.

I felt this Psalm sums up what I am trying to say:
Psalm 31
In you, o Lord, I have taken refuge
let me never be put to shame
deliver me in your righteousness
....
But I trust in you, O Lord
I say, You are my God
My times are in your hands
deliver me from my enemies
and from those who pursue me
Let your face shine on your servant
Save me in your unfailing love

Amen

Courageous Women #4 Jesus is in our boat with us!

George Muller said "Faith does not operate in the realm of the possible. there is no glory for God in that which is humanely possible Faith begins were man's power end."

I listened to a sermon a few weeks back which was talking about the day that Jesus was sleeping in the boat while the disciples struggled with the storm. Mark 4:38 reads: Jesus was in the stern sleeping on a cushion. The disciples woke him and said to him, "Teacher, don't you care if we drown?" And He got up and rebuked the wind and said to the sea, "Hush, be still." And the wind died down and it became perfectly still."
I've always found this passage hard to understand, why was Jesus asleep? Why did he let the disciples go through so much depth of feeling - so much fear and sense of danger before coming to their aid. Also, he did not jump to their aid, they had to wake him up!

The pastor discussed this and what he said really spoke to my soul. The pastor said that often in hard times we think - where is God in this? We can't see him and we feel alone. The pastor said that Jesus is right there with us, he is in our boat. The pastor said that it is often in those moments of complete desolation that we become acutely aware of our need for God. It is in that moment when you realise that there is nothing that you can physically do that you let go and let God. In the midst of our deepest darkest fears we are humbled enough to rely on God and that is when God can work His wonders.

What most amazes me about this is the patience that God has for us. He lies there in our boat, waiting for us to return to Him and admit our need for His strength, His love, His Spirit. What love is this? He never gives up on me..

 I am loving Hawk Nelson's song, Oceans:
I want you as you are, not as you ought to be
Won't you lay down your guard and come to me
The shame that grips you now is crippling
It breaks my heart to see you suffering

Cause I am for you
I'm not against you

If you want to know
How far my love can go
Just how deep, just how wide
If want to see
How much you mean to me
Look at my hands, look at my side
If you could count the times I say you are forgiven
It's more than the drops in the ocean

Don't think you need to settle for a substitute
When I'm the only love that changes you

Open your heart
It's time that we start again

You are precious to the God of the universe! He would stoop down to make you great, He loves you!
Hang in there - in the midst of your troubles remember the One who sleeps in your boat. Reach out and wake Him up. Jesus is never far away. He loves us with a passion.
Keep strong in His strength.